Moscow never sleeps

Although I have to be at the front door of Books-A-Million in five hours, I am still awake. One of the youth called me, so I have been up talking with them.

Today was my day off; I was relatively unproductive. I worked on my normal tasks for the day with very limited focus while maintaining a decent level of operable inspiration. It tends to work that way on my days off. I'll have lots to do, but all I can think about is other things. This all stems from the lack of daily structure: I go to sleep late the night before (with tons of caffeine, no doubt), I wake up late in the morning, and stumble through the rest of the day with a light headache from staring at a computer monitor coupled with the insatiable urge to nap instead of continue with my work.

This culminates into the perfect atmosphere needed for blogging.

I have been seriously wrestling with myself for the past couple months. I have found myself constantly confronted with my own insecurities and imperfections as to keep me in constant contemplation. One of the biggest subjects that always seems to sit before me is the lack of focus in my life. Ironically enough, it is this subject alone that takes up about 90% of my idle thoughts. I am obsessively focused on my state of incessant distraction.

In fact, I think I'll let you know fifteen topics I have had flying through my mind at some point during the day:

1. Motremia: my ever-present object of imagination
2. The compatibility of myself with Adriana
3. The hope of a life with that girl someday
4. The mind-blowing idea of fatherhood
5. The creative potential of Maxis's Spore Creature Creator
6. A story in which a man builds a vehicle
   
7. The need for financial restraint and direction in my life
8. A curious connection between web development and Jamie Howard's up-and-coming self
9. An inescapable, yet incomprehensible passion for writing in my life
10. The beauty of thought, imagination, and personal reflection
11. Finishing Leo Tolstoy's Family Happiness
12. A certain fascination with the study of Esperanto
13. A rekindling of my studies in the Russian language
14. Organization, administration, and practice of Jesus-centered youth ministry
15. My questionably pretentious writing-style throughout this post

This list could be four times longer, but these are the first things that came to mind.

I thank God for the uncontrollably distracted mind that He has seen fit to equip me with. Although it is met with much aggravation, I stay creative and ever-fascinated. The flood of ideas never stops; it grows fiercer as the day dies and tomorrow comes.

Imagination is paramount.

Superfluous? possibly. Honest? completely.